Cling to Life

It has been a very tough week.  Mike’s mom passed away last Friday.  Exactly 19 months after the day of Mike’s death.  I sat with her hours before her death, which was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  She was non responsive, with sunken eyes, sunken cheeks and hands already curling.  She struggled to get enough oxygen and close to the end, you could smell death in her breath.  I struggled to stay strong for my brother in-law and his wife.  All three of us, quietly reminded her to go be with Mike, to stop suffering, to go to the light, that Jesus was waiting.  None of us wanted her to suffer any longer.  Funny thing was she would not let go.  She was fighting for every second she could last here on earth. 

Now Phyllis, Mike’s mom, has struggled with the demons of mental illness for a long time.  The death of Mike was just too much for her to handle and took her over the edge.  She was strong in the first months after, but quickly spiraled downward.  She sat in a dark hole and as each of us tried to pull her out, she continued to sit there.  She wanted to pull us down with her, but we chose not sit in the hole.   I tried to help, Skip and his wife (her son and daughter in-law) tried, my friends tried, her family tried, and I can tell you even strangers tried. She would not let anyone help.  She would not help herself.  Really for over a year she has wished to die, to be with Mike.  Last week when I talked with her, she knew the end was near.  She sounded scared.  She was about to get what she had wished for but now she wasn’t sure that was what she wanted.  It was too late to go back.  Even though all her body shut down in those last hours, she clung to life.  I only wished she had clung to life a year ago. 

So I guess my message today is to say…cling to life now.  Live your life now.  With the loss of a loved one, there are times when you miss them so much that you wish you were dead.  That has to be a fleeting moment.  Please don’t end up like Phyllis.  Remember there are so many reasons to continue to live.  Just think of one blessing at a time.  Your family and friends and the one you lost, want you to live.  You have a choice.  If you are not strong enough to help yourself, let others do it for you. 

Whatever your loss might be, please, please, please cling to life.